Saturday, November 20, 2010

We’d Rather You Didn’t

We’ve been bit harried these days and so have gotten away from some of our beloved regular features. But as we both have CDs nearing completion (and availability) we find we are beset from all sides by well meaning advice and analyses of How The Music Business Works. With this in mind, we have decided it’s time for another segment of We’d Rather You Didn’t.

All told Your redheads have been singing professionally for as long as Cher has been alive, and in that time we have picked up a few tidbits of information about the music business so we’d really rather strangers didn’t assume that we are lost little lambs in need of guidance. In fact, here are few things we’d like to share with you, especially if you are thinking of entering the business and getting rich by Christmas.

1.)The check is NOT in the mail.

2.)Though someone may have opened for Englebert Humperdink at a Muscular Dystrophy Telethon in 1978, it does not necessarily follow that he or she knows or, for that matter, even met said Englebert.

3.) In light of #2, therefore, said someone probably can’t get anyone a gig headlining Caesar’s Palace.

4.) Therefore, singing for free in his or her Greek restaurant in Lodi, NJ may not be the career move he or she is suggesting it will be, as no one can compete with flaming saganaki.

5.) The check is still not in the mail

6.) Though Hot Blooded was a big hit for Foreigner, it’s really not the right song for either of us.

7.) We know your friend Ace very successfully managed his local tire shop for many years, but that’s not really the same as managing artists.

8.) Giving “Power of Attorney” to a manager does not mean he will have the authority to get you an attorney should you need one. Indeed, it means something very different.

9.) Music actually is a “Real Job”.

10.) Check? What check?

Some of the spirit of this list is admirably captured in DC Anderson’s song Your Father & I Have Been Talking. It’s our Thanksgiving present to you. Scroll down to the next post and enjoy!


chicksinger23 said...

well said, ladies, as usual! and #9 is my fave...
can't wait for your CD's!!!

Charles M. said...

wow, and now I feel like shit for having asked for the CD I won back in February and didn't receive, and was afraid to ask for it because I'm such a dweeb, and I have a terrible crush on redheads, and I've been following a career for 36 years, and yet I do have a life, and oh my god..... but I NEVER thought singing was "not work!"

Wendy Lane Bailey said...

Your crush on redheads is exactly why we love you! We know how much you appreciate us, and for that we are very gratful. You, dear Charles are NOT a dweeb!

Laurel informs me that you've sent her a sweet thank-you note letting her know that you've received the CD she sent to replace the one that got lost in the mail, so all's well that ends well (she is becoming a little Shakespeare-obsessed).